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10 “unfair” ways to win in life by MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATIONS – Part 2

10 unfair ways to win in life by MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATIONS – Part 2

Are you a winner?

Why do some folks seem to win in life always and are better at everything they do? Does it seem unfair to you?
I use the terms “unfairly” on purpose. These folks that win consistently have the tools and resources to win hence my use of the term “unfairly”.

Before I begin, please note that this is a continuation of my previous blogs and videos with than 100 traits, skills, attributes and aspects on how to win “unfairly” in life.

The win unfairly video channel

You can find many other collection of  “gems” like this  to help you win “unfairly” in life by clicking on my website at Win Unfairly or on my JohnLincoln.ONE video channel.

In the first part of my blog and video, I shared with you the understanding and  knowledge required to recognize and know the intricacies and complexities of communications.

In this second part of this video and blog, I will share with you the tools, skills and ways to communicate effectively in life. Communicating effectively is one of the most important interpersonal skill required to succeed and win “unfairly” in life.

Whether you are an individual, a small business or a large corporate employee, this short blog and video will first guide you through and enable you to communicate effectively to win “unfairly” in life.

Who is John Lincoln

connect the dots winunfairly john lincoln 226x300 - 10 “unfair” ways to win in life by  MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATIONS – Part 2By now you might be wondering who am I. First a few words about myself – My name is John Lincoln and I am the author of a book called “Connect the dots” – a playbook to help you connect to your customers and profits. If you are interested, you can buy the book online at Amazon – here is the link to buy my book,  “connect the dots” .

You can also find out more about me at my website  About Me or on LinkedIn at

So we are back to the important topic of mastering effective communications to win “unfairly”  and succeed in life.

Please remember that you will need to understand and know the complexities and intricacies of communications – which is the first part of this video and blog – before you can apply the effective communications tools and skills outlined here.

The top 10 skills, behaviors and tools to communicate effectively to win and succeed in life

Here are the top 10 skills, behaviors and tools to apply to effectively communicate with any any one to win “unfairly” in life. As I often say, these skills, behaviors and tools can be applied in your personal, professional and or business situations. Some of these might seem too basic or obvious to you. Despite it being obvious, many folks ignore these simple traits and behaviors.

  1. Be positive – Remember that we humans like to be around people who are nice and positive. Nobody wants to be around a miserable person. A smile is the most simple and instinctive of our human expressions. A smile indicates to the other person that we are pleased and or amused to be around some one. So never lose that smile! However serious the discussions, remember to always apply the “sandwich method”. Start and end a discussion or communications positively.
  2. We should use appropriate humor – a sense of humor helps us to break the ice and draw the other person closer to us.  A word of caution here – humor could back fire if it is not apt. The humor has to be appropriate and relevant to the audience and the situation.
  3. We should listen more than we speak – Most of us don’t realize that listening is not the same as hearing. Listening gives us more information to win in any situation. Most of us don’t listen and tend to think about what we are going to say next. Remember that we have two ears and a mouth. So let’s just use a simple “rule of thumb” to listen 2 times more that we speak.
  4. Listen to what’s not being said – To communicate effectively, we need to be aware of what’s NOT said. Is the obvious being omitted in the discussion. For example, are feelings not expressed? Was the stoic response normal?
  5. Know how to ask questions – we should learn how to ask open-ended questions versus a closed-ended question. For example, for a a simple question like – “are you feeling ok today?” where the engagement and response would be  minimal versus an open-ended question like “ how are you feeling today?” Learning how to ask questions helps us to seek clarity and reflect through what the other person is trying to tell us.
  6. Read the non verbal cues – Research has shown that over 55% of the message is conveyed through non verbal cues. Non verbal cues goes beyond body language and includes the intonation, pitch, volume and other factors like eye contact, eye movements and even physiological changes like wet palms and sweating.
  7. Be fair and empathetic – when communicating, we should have empathy and understanding of what the other person is saying. We can only be empathetic if we try to “put ourselves in their shoes”. We all have different points of reference. We need to recognize others perspectives and address it with a sense of fairness and empathy.
  8. Be emotionally aware of ourselves – When we are communicating with some one, we need to be especially aware of our own emotions, feelings and predispositions. This is one of the most difficult aspects for us to master. Most folks cannot hide their own predispositions and or excitement.
  9. Don’t use jargon – We should not use bombastic or big words to impress some one. The only impression that we will make is coming off as inauthentic or as a “show off”
  10. Pace our communications style – There are extreme ways we pace in communications. Sometimes, some of us tend to get long winded and some of us get curt and abrupt. When we are communicating with some one, we should be extremely aware of the other person, the context, place, nature of discussions and purpose.

So there you have it. Now go out there and be a master at effective communications.

As you can see from what you have seen and heard so far, there is more to communications than just speaking our minds and getting away. If we want to succeed and win “unfairly” in life, we need to master the art of effective communications.

To win and succeed in life, context, culture and adjectives in communications matters

To win and succeed in life context culture and adjectives in communications matters - 10 “unfair” ways to win in life by  MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATIONS – Part 2
However, here is a word of caution. Before we apply this knowledge, it is ALWAYS important that we take into account context, culture, language, ethnicity, communications style and personality differences.

As some one said, “the simple biggest problem with communications is the illusion that it has taken place”.

Last but not least, watch out for the adjectives that we use when we communicate – as Mark Twain famously said “a man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversations”.

Be a winner always!
So don’t be defeated. Be a winner always. Go out and confidently win in any situation in life. Knowing these effective communications skills and tools will certainly give you a head start and put you in an “unfair” advantage.

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